Reefer Man”
Don Redman & His Orchestra
Have you ever met the Reefer Man?”
((( Going Green )))
stan badz
Local growers called themselves the Cosmic Sensi Patrol, and passed their product through the crowd at the Halloween Ball ’80.*
Gainesville’s Favorite Color
By Laura Kelly
Alligator Columnist
Remember when sports made you think of things like baseball, hockey, and football? Remember when sports and Gators were mentioned in one breath? Are you that old?
Sure, Hogtown has its sports, but its favorite has got nothing to do with orange and blue. It’s as obvious as a politician, as common as toilet paper.
Grass (not Gators) is Gainesville’s claim to fame. We are members of the cannabis crowd, the marijuana mania, the pot platoon, the reefer rodeo, the doobie division, and the j-brigade.
Gainesville has earned its spot on the map.
Most of us lost our drug virginity somewhere down the road years ago. The trouble with dredging up that memory most have filed it away mentally under antiques. How many remember smoking that very first joint? I was prepared for the possibility of deformed children. Fortunately, and with a bit more of an edge on reality, the most serious side effects suffered were horniness, happiness, and hungriness. I thought possibly I had discovered the true meaning of fucked up. I had.
Admittedly, many of Gainesville’s finest citizens spend some of their time stoned. So, to answer that age old question, “I’m stoned, now what?” Personalized Pot Packages have been designed — a completely packaged imaginative evening for two while under the influence of pot. Whip out your Zig-Zags, scrape the resin off your roach cliop, and choose the PPP of your choice.
The Girlfriend’s Stash. This fun-filled evening begins by smoking some of the stuff your roommate’s girlfriend grew on her windowsill. So bad, he was about to throw it out, but you said you’d give him $15 for it. You get what you pay for, so it was what you’d expect, a 10-minute buzz, and so harsh that your esophagus gives out about midway through the first joint. After the seventh, you’re ready for an exciting drive to the nearby 7-11 for a six-pack of Budweiser. The rest of the evening is spent with a terrific headache, in front of your six-inch, black and white screen, watching Barney Miller. Total price for this night’s PPP, perfect for the common laborer, is $2.98.
The Colombian Caper. This PPP is the answer for struggling middle class liberals. The evening begins with a smooth joint or two of Colombian, commercial, but it smells good. Next, a trip to the ABC for a six-pack of Miller, and then on to a movie at the Union. Something foreign and filled with blood. The evening is capped off by a midnite visit to the muchie mecca — Skaggs. For your carbohydrate pleasure and the ultimate sugar rush, Fritos and Entenmann’s are provided. Total price for the Colombian Caper is $9.98.
The Sinsemilla Smash. This delightfully decadent evening begins with smoking some of the stuff your coke dealer let you have. The type of pot with so much resin that it drips from your chin. After a nice buzz, a thirst quencher of Heineken for the men, and white wine for the women ios provided. Following a steak and salad from the Sea Fox, dancing at Dubs, and white russians at Richenbachers, you lapse into unconsciousness until midway through the following week. A must for Greeks, heavy duty dopers, and the nouveau riche. Total price for the Sinsemilla Smash is $149.98.
NEXT WEEK: Tours of Used Car Lots While Tripping On Acid, and Group Sports for The Quaalude Crowd.
—30—
Gainesville is Green
GREEN GRASS & HIGH TIDES (BIG BUSINESS)
LEGALIZE IT (EDITORIAL)
NARCS AMONG US
POTTED PLANTS
GAINESVILLE’S FAVORITE COLOR
If bongs were outlawed, only outlaws would have bongs.
HOMEGROWN WILDWOOD WEED
MY FRIEND STEVE Z (A COLLEGE EDUCATED GROWER)
After graduating UF with a Botany degree, Steve Z, a Rockledge High mate of mine, bought five-acres of land on Lake Orange, in Cross Creek two miles down the road (Alachua 325) from Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings house. Back in the 1940s, Rawlings was known by her neighbors for the marmalade she made from the cumquats that grew all around her small wooden house. Steve Z’s house was similar, but his crop wasn’t citrus.
MARJORIE KINNAN RAWLINGS (Cumquat Marmalade)
HARRIET BEECHER STOWE (St Johns Tangerines)
OTTO’S GREEN ACRES (Kim Kulish)
DEAN OF THE PIT (Bull Dog Life)
“Marijuana is illegal because it makes you God.”
“I’d like to fertilize her buds” (Gator Growl*)
A “sexist” and “drug related” skit in 1982 added to what the administration called the lowest point in Gator Growl history. Critics called Robin Williams’ act “vulgar,” filled with sex, drugs, and football. At the time, Williams was in the middle of his “Mork & Mindy” fame, after rising from a stand up comedy career, where he honed the act he did in front of 65,000 Gator fans who filled Florida Field.
WHEN THE GATORS GROWL LOUDEST
LUNA(CY) ON THE PLAZA OF THE AMERICAS
SONGS OF THE [NORTH FLORIDA] SOUTH